• Apr. 30: Hang out with Natalie Morales

    NBC News' Natalies Morales will host a Google+ Hangout to answer your questions about how to talk to your child about cheating at school or sports, as featured in the Dateline hidden camera report 'My Kid Would Never Do That: Cheating' from Sunday, April 29th.

    Visit Dateline NBC's Google+ Page to watch and join our live Hangout on Monday, April 30th, at 12pm/ET. 

    Guests for the Google+ Hangout will include:

    • NBC News' Natalie Morales
    • Dateline NBC producers of 'My Kid Would Never Do That' series
    • Rosalind Wiseman, parenting expert and author
    • Heather Armstrong, blogger and founder of dooce.com
    • Betsy Landers, PTA President
  • Why Do Kids Cheat? Facts About Cheating

    Experts say cheating in schools is an epidemic, but most parents think their kid would never do it. Below are facts about cheating from Dr. Eric M. Anderman of The Ohio State University.

    Facts about Cheating:

    • Cheating is more common among adolescents than many people believe. Studies estimate that as many as 85% of students engage in some type of academic dishonesty before graduating from high school.
    • Cheating rates have risen, and continue to be high.
    • Most cheaters believe that they won’t get caught, and most don’t get caught.
    • Technology has increased the ways in which students can engage in cheating behaviors.
    • Cheating is associated with certain characteristics: impulsivity, low levels of academic confidence, and attending a school where the belief is that “everyone cheats.”
    • Cheating is generally unrelated to moral development.

    Ways to Reduce Cheating:

    • One of the strongest predictors of cheating is a focus (by teachers and parents) on grades and test scores.
    • Students are less likely to cheat in classrooms where teachers emphasize learning for the sake of learning; in other words, when “mastery” of the academic material is what is stressed (more so than grades), students are less likely to cheat.
    • Teachers can decrease the amount of cheating that occurs by not stressing students out about grades; of course grades and test scores matter and are important, but that shouldn’t be the focus of discussion. Students shouldn’t be told they have to learn something “because there is a test on Friday;” rather, students should be told the need to learn something because of the inherent value of the topic.
    • When parents see that schools are focusing too much on grades and test scores and causing stress and anxiety in their children, parents should discuss these concerns with teachers and school administrators.

    ...

    Dr. Eric M. Anderman is Director of the School of Educational Policy and Leadership and Professor of Educational Psychology at The Ohio State University.  His area of research is adolescent motivation; he focuses in particular on (a) academic cheating, (b) the effects of school transitions on student motivation, and (c) HIV/pregnancy prevention in adolescent populations. He recently edited the book

     

  • How to Talk to Your Kids About Cheating

    Experts say cheating in schools is an epidemic, but most parents think their kid would never do it. Below are tips and facts about cheating from Rosalind Wiseman Rosalind—a writer and educator on ethical leadership:

    How to Talk to Your Kids About Cheating

    Teaching our children honesty and why not to cheat can be more complicated than it seems. Why? Because we live in a world of mixed messages where often the external rewards of winning often seem to outweigh the internal rewards of achieving honestly. From reality show characters who boast, “I didn’t come here to make friends,” as a way to justify undermining and deceiving competitors to athletes taking performance enhancing drugs, our children often see adults acting the opposite of what many parents want to teach their children.

    Here are some tips about cheating to share with your children:

    • It’s not enough to tell your children, “Be honest,” or “Do the right thing.” Talk to them about specific situations where being honest will be hard like seeing the questions before the test and what you expect them to do.
    • Use the bad role models in the media as examples. When you see someone in the news who has cheated or been dishonest, ask your child why they think their behavior is against your family values.
    • Admit that it doesn’t always feel good to be honest.

    If your child is caught cheating here’s what you can do:

    • Dig deep. Sometimes children cheat because they feel tremendous pressure to get the high grade or win the game. You need to find out why it was so important to them to achieve their goal that they were willing to do so dishonestly.
    • Remind them the faster they admit what they’ve done the less anxious they’ll feel, and the less trouble they’ll probably get in.
    • Don’t let your anxiety rationalize getting him out of trouble. It’s easy to be so worried about the long term impact having something on a student’s permanent record, but if you truly want to raise a child with integrity and self-confidence he has to see that you 1) Will hold him accountable when it counts 2) Believe he has the strength of character to get through the process.
    • Express disappointment but see this as the learning opportunity that it is.
    • Your kid may get really angry at you for holding them accountable and that’s ok.

    It’s likely your children will face a situation where their honesty is tested. And it’s possible that they will make a mistake and cheat or lie. Remember for most of us, our integrity is developed only through a process of being tested and having adults we respect guide us along the way.

     

     

     


    Rosalind Wiseman is a writer and educator on ethical leadership and media literacy, and bullying prevention. She is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes and is currently working on a book for parents of boys.  rosalindwiseman.com

  • Read an exceprt from Sean Goldman's 'A Father's Love'

    In "A Father's Love," David Goldman shares his five-year battle to bring his son, Sean, back to the United States after Sean was abducted by his mother, Bruna, who wanted to raise Sean in her native Brazil. Goldman describes the emotions he went through and how he got support from both high-level U.S. government officials and national media organizations. Here, Goldman writes about the first few days of what was supposed to be a two-week trip for Bruna and Sean. Read an excerpt:

    Chapter 1: The phone call

    Viking

    A TWO-WEEK TRIP — that’s all it was supposed to be. Two weeks. I didn’t relish the idea of being apart from my wife, Bruna, and our four-year-old son, Sean, not even for two weeks, but it was unavoidable. I had to work. I can handle it, I kept reminding myself. After all, I had clients scheduled aboard my charter fishing boat during the first week my wife and son would be gone. After that, I planned to join Bruna and Sean for the latter part of their vacation in Brazil, my wife’s birthplace. In a few days, we’d be back together as a family again.

    I loaded the suitcases — there were more than the usual number of them — into my Jeep Cherokee SUV, along with Bruna’s parents’ luggage. Although citizens of Brazil, my in-laws. Raimundo and Silvana Ribeiro, owned a condominium in New Jersey, and visited often, sometimes for a month or two at a time. The night before, we had attended a local carnival sponsored by St. Leo’s Church, and Bruna’s parents had been at our home the day of the trip, after going out to lunch with my parents. Everyone got along as usual, two happy families united as one, with no tension among any of us and never a cross word between us. Now Sean’s maternal grandfather, Raimundo — or Ray, as he was known in the United States — and his grandmother, Silvana, were returning to Brazil with Bruna and Sean.

    It wasn’t the first time during our four-year marriage that Bruna had visited her homeland. She and I had traveled to Brazil before Sean was born. Bruna took great pleasure in spending time with her friends in her old stomping grounds. I enjoyed surfing off the beautiful beaches of Barra, a suburb of Rio de Janeiro. We both savored Brazil’s barbecues and delicious mangoes. Bruna took Sean to visit our extended family a few months after his birth, and had made the trip by herself for her grandmother’s funeral a few years earlier. More recently, in March 2004, she and a friend and fellow teacher at the school where Bruna taught went to Brazil during the school’s spring break. So it didn’t strike me as unusual for us to plan a trip during the summer, after Bruna completed her teaching responsibilities for the 2004 spring semester. We usually traveled as a family to Brazil twice a year, once during Bruna’s winter break and once during the summer. Just as any couple whose family members live in different locations, we made special efforts to enjoy time together with all of our relatives, especially after Sean was born. Although Rio was a dangerous place, as Bruna and her parents often reminded me, it was still her hometown in her native land and it was beautiful. We wanted Sean to be familiar with both cultures, and to know that he was part of something much bigger than himself.

    On Wednesday, June 16, 2004, I drove the family to Newark’s Liberty International Airport to begin their vacation. Under Brazilian law, when any one parent travels alone with a child to Brazil, the other parent or guardian is required to sign a letter of authorization. So before the trip, as part of normal procedures, I signed the release authorizing Bruna to take Sean out of the country for a limited period of time.

    Since I was going to see the two of them in a week or so, I didn’t think much of it at the time. Besides, I was busy planning Bruna’s thirtieth birthday party. As a surprise present for her, I hoped to have our kitchen redone while she was out of the country. I was also working on an itinerary for another family trip to Turnberry Isle in Florida — one that would include Bruna’s mom and dad — to celebrate her birthday in mid-August after we had all returned from Brazil. Ordinarily when we vacationed together, I made the arrangements. Having traveled as much as I had over the years, I found it easy to book all the family members’ flights and hotels, and handle all the other details myself. But this time, Bruna’s mom kept protesting, saying, “Oh, we can take care of that from Brazil.” This struck me as odd, but I thought, Okay, fine. We’ll make the arrangements from Brazil.

    At the airport, after I got Sean comfortably situated from his stroller, I helped carry Bruna’s, Sean’s, and my in-laws’ suitcases into the busy Newark terminal. I assisted in getting all the suitcases checked in, then walked Bruna and Sean to the security area in front of the Jetway leading to their flight. With passengers bustling all around us, I kissed Bruna and Sean good-bye and embraced Bruna’s parents.

    I watched as my family went through the initial identification checkpoint and started down the hallway toward their flight. Then, as we always did when one of us was traveling, Bruna and Sean stopped and turned toward me, and we used sign language for our final good-bye. I pointed to my eye, my heart, and then to Bruna and Sean, and mouthed the words “I love you.” Bruna and Sean pointed to their eyes, their hearts, and then back at me: “I love you.” Bruna turned and followed her parents down the Jetway, toward the security metal detector, pushing Sean in the stroller as she went. I watched them until I could no longer see them, and waited a few minutes longer in case they had forgotten anything or there was a last-minute flight cancellation. Then I returned to our vehicle and headed back to our home in Tinton Falls, New Jersey. It was going to be long, lonely night.

    In many ways, ours had been a storybook romance. I met Bruna Bianchi Ribeiro in 1997 in Milan, Italy, where I was working as a fashion model and she was studying fashion. We moved back to New Jersey, where we were married in 1999, and in May 2000, Bruna gave birth to Sean. We had a beautiful marriage, an ideal little family; it was perfect in every way, and we were head over heels in love.

    At least so I thought.

    The day after their flight, Bruna called from Brazil to let me know that she and the family and arrived safely. “Sean is so excited,” she gushed. “He’s eating mangoes and he just loves it here.”

    Bruna’s unusual emphasis on how happy Sean was to be back in Brazil seemed a bit over the top, but I was glad my wife and son were safe and sound and already enjoying their vacation. We talked briefly, then said our “I love you’s” and our good-byes.

    On Sunday, June 20, Bruna called again. I could tell immediately from the tone of her voice that something was wrong, but I would not have guessed what she was about to say. “You’re a great guy, David, and a wonderful father to Sean. I have no regrets about our relationship and having Sean together.”

    I didn’t even have time to wonder where Bruna was going with this line of thought, as she continued without a pause, almost as though following a script.

    “Our love affair is over. I’ve decided to stay in Brazil,” she said. “I’m keeping Sean here with me.”

    Whooom! It was as though the earth had suddenly dropped out from under me, and I was hanging in midair. “What? What! What are you talking about, Bruna?” I could not believe what I was hearing. Our love affair? What about our marriage? The tone of voice with which she said those words to me was one I had never before heard from her. She sounded cold, calculating, and unemotional — not at all like the upbeat, vivacious, passionate woman to whom I was married.

    I remember thinking, What is this? Where is this coming from? The person I loved, and envisioned loving for the rest of my life, until death do us part, had suddenly become as cold as ice.

    It got worse. Bruna had a list of demands. “You need to come here immediately,” she said. I want you to sign over the full rights of Sean to me. If you ever want to see Sean again, you need to fly to Rio de Janeiro immediately. I have a document my lawyer has drawn up, and you need to sign it.”

    Lawyer? What lawyer? And how could she have secured such a document? She had been gone only a few days! It never occurred to me that this might have been a meticulously devised plan by Bruna and her parents in collusion with a Brazilian attorney.

    According to Bruna, the document she wanted me to sign was ten pages in length and spelled out several demands, including that Sean remain with Bruna and her family in Brazil, and that I surrender my legal role as Sean’s parent, in addition to giving full custody to Bruna. “And you need to agree never to press any criminal charges. Never to go to the police in the U.S. to file kidnapping charges, never file any custody papers in the U.S. courts, never file for separation or divorce in the United States, and you must do nothing that will interfere with my plans to obtain U.S. citizenship.”

    My brain was reeling, my body convulsing; I felt nauseated. Bruna, what is going on here? I was shocked and devastated at the same time.

    “David, if you do any of those things and go against what I want — if you hire a lawyer — you will never see your son again, and you will spend all your money trying.”

    “Bruna, what is happening?”

    Bruna was done and she wanted to get off the phone. “You must come here, David,” she demanded.

    “I can’t believe this…”

    “You need to come here now. Bye.” Click. The phone line went dead.

    I hung up the phone. My knees gave out, and I slumped to the floor, my face in my hands, my head still spinning, my heart pounding. I thought it might explode into a thousand pieces. My mind refused to fathom what I had just heard, yet there had been no equivocation in Bruna’s words. She had made herself quite clear. Our marriage was over, and she planned to keep our four-year-old son, Sean, in Brazil.

    Our son, my buddy, my baby boy, Sean. I loved that little guy more than my own life. This couldn’t be happening. I was crushed and confused, distraught and disoriented, by this ghastly turn of events. I had never felt so alone in all my life.

    I called my parents. My mom answered the phone. “Mom…” I struggled to get sound out of my mouth.

    “Oh, hi, David,” she answered cheerfully. “Happy Father’s Day.”

    Happy Father’s Day? My wife has just run off with my son. It was not a happy Father’s Day at all. It was the start of six years in a father’s hell.

    From "A Father's Love: One Man’s Unrelenting Battle to Bring His Abducted Son Home" by David Goldman. Copyright © 2011. Reprinted by permission of Viking, part of the Penguin Group.

  • Apr. 27: Exclusive interview with abductee Sean Goldman

    We’ve heard from his father, David Goldman, but for the first time since Sean Goldman was abducted by his mother and taken to Brazil, he sits down with Meredith Vieira for an exclusive interview. An intimate conversation about his confusing ordeal and all its painful repercussions, the interview with 11 year-old Sean Goldman will air on “Dateline” Friday, April 27 at 10p/9c.

    The challenges faced by this young New Jersey boy are staggering. When Sean was 4, he was abducted to Brazil by his mother and abruptly cut off from his father. When he was 8, his mother died and his Brazilian family tried to keep him away from his biological father, David Goldman. Sean never knew that for years, David was trying to bring him back home.

  • Chat with Natalie Morales about teen driving

    Are you worried about your teen and driving while texting or intoxicated?  Join us for a live video chat at 2pm EST on Monday, April 23rd, with NBC News' Natalie Morales and other guests, including parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba, to answer your questions about how to teach your kids to make better decisions while driving.

    This web exclusive event is part of 'My Kid Would Never Do That', a new four-part Dateline series.

  • 8 Critical Tips on Teen Drinking and Driving

    By Dr. Michele Borba

    1. Set Clear Rules Against Drinking

    A study of over 1000 teens found that teens with “hands on” parents who establish clear behavior expectations, monitor their teens comings and goings, and aren’t afraid to say no are four times less likely to engage in risky behaviors like drinking and driving. Teens also say they will be more cautious about drinking and driving if they know you are serious and will follow through with punishments. Feel free to be strict without feeling guilty. It makes no difference whether your teen has a driver’s license nor a car—peers do. So stress one rule: “NEVER ever drink and drive.”

    2. Put a No Drinking and Driving Rule in Writing

    Have your teen sign a contract to never drink and drive. Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) www.saddonline.com provides a free online contract to download. It may help them pause just the second needed to not get behind that wheel. Stress to your teen that drinking and driving—either as the driver or passenger—means an automatic loss of his or her driving license. Then make a pact: if your teen calls for a ride, he can keep that license. Also, let him know you will be monitoring. (Waiting at the front door when he comes home is a great technique. Then give him a quick check: a hug (smell for liquor); check eyes for redness; ask how the party was (check speech patterns); and look for gum or mints (to reduce alcohol smell).

    3. Form an Alliance With Other Parents

    A survey by The Partnership for a Drug-Free America and the "MetLife Foundation Attitude Tracking Study found that the place where teens are most likely to encounter drugs and alcohol is at parties and other social situations. While not shocking, what is, is that teens say that many parties are not adult supervised and in some cases it's the adults who are the suppliers. (Ninety-nine percent of parents say they would not serve alcohol at their kid’s party; but 28% of teens say they have been at supervised parties where alcohol is available). A Survey by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia also found that half of teens who attend parties say alcohol, drugs or both are available though 80 percent of parents believe teens attend substance-free parties.

    • Know your teen’s friends and their parents. Make a pack to monitor each other’s kids and pledge that there will be no unsupervised parties.
    • Make a rule that you call any parent hosting a party to assure supervision.  Doing so helps you find other parents share rules, which helps when your teen says, “You’re the only parent with those rules” – you can beg to differ.

    4. Create a Secret Code with Your Teen

    Teens say that losing face with peers is a big reason they don’t call for help. “I couldn’t call you. My friends would hear!” So create a text code like “1-1-1” or a phrase such as “I’m getting the flu” so your teen can save face and still alert you that he needs a designated driver and rescue.

    • Earn your teen’s trust. Promise that you’ll pick up your teen with no questions asked. Many teens admit having a code with their parents but don’t use it because their parents don’t follow through on their “no questions asked” pledge and discipline them instead. If you want your teen to call, earn their trust.
    • Pass your code on to one trusted adult. Also make a pack with a trusted adult that if you’re not available, your teen knows he can call that person for help.
    • Have emergency backup plans. Give your teen a card with phone numbers of taxicab services and money in a drawer and tell your teen to use in case of an emergency. Doing so does not mean you are giving your approval to drink but you understand that peer pressure is tough and in case something comes up, your teen is prepared and knows how to get a safe ride home.

    5. Don’t Make Liquor Available

    Teens admit getting alcohol is easy-and the easiest place to get it is in their home. The second easiest place is in their friends’ homes.

    • Lock up your liquor supply. Don’t tell your teen where the key is! Count those liquor bottles.
    • Watch your credit card. The hot place teens buy alcohol is on the Internet.
    • Admonish an older sibling to not be the supplier.

    6. Create a Safety Net for Special Occasions

    Prom and Grad Night are teen occasions when alcohol is more prevalent and drunk driving accidents peak. Get on board with the school and other parents to reduce the likelihood of drinking and driving to keep teens safer.

    • Set up a Safe Rides program in your community.
    • Designate other peers, older siblings or younger class as drivers who do not drink.
    • Consider hiring a limo for a group of teens who are going to an event together.
    • Don’t let your teen rent a hotel room after an event. Limit the amount of driving.

    7. Develop Peer Comebacks with Your Teen

    Peer pressure is fierce, and teens say those “Just say no” type lines don’t work. So help your adolescent create lines to use with peers that let her save face and buck the pressure: “My dad will take away my license.” “I don’t need a ride-my friend is coming.” “My mom will ground me for life—and she always finds out.”

    8. Teach “Sneaky” Ways Not to Drink

    The truth is the party scene is on and your teen will be faced with the “Do you want a drink?” question from a peer. If your kid can’t say no (and let’s be clear…it’s a rare kid who can…), then teach sneaky ways to avoid drinking and save face. Take the drink-but don’t sip it. Take the drink-but leave it. Take the drink-then take it to the bathroom and pour it down the sink and fill the glass with water.  Those tricks will also help your teen navigate those college parties where alcohol is flowing even more

    If teens are at your home, you are responsible for their safety and well-being. Be at the door when they leave. Tell them you will wait up and be at the door when they return. Ensure that they are safe to drive. If you have just an ounce of doubt, take their keys and you the driver. Now go talk to your teen. And then talk again and again and again. And don’t forget teens get their views about alcohol from watching. Be the example you want your teen to follow.

    ...

    Dr. Michele Borba is a TODAY Show contributor, author, parenting expert and educational consultant. For more about her work see MicheleBorba.com or follow her on twitter @MicheleBorba

  • Apr. 22: 'My Kid Would Never Do That: Driving'

    As part of a four-week series reported on by Natalie Morales, “Dateline’s” My Kid Would Never Do That: Driving premieres on Sunday, April 22 at 7p/6c.

    Giving your teenager the keys to a car is one of the scariest moments of parenthood. Will they make safe choices? With hidden cameras, we watch, along with Robert Turrisi, a Penn State professor and consultant to MADD, as teens make decisions in what appeared to be three potentially dangerous situations:

    • Will they text while driving, even though they’ve promised not to?

    • Will they get into a car with a teen they think has been drinking?

    • What about with a driver who says he is high?

    And on Monday, April 23 at noon ET, Natalie Morales will host a hangout on Google+ and DatelineNBC.com to discuss Sunday’s episode. She will be joined by Jan Withers, MADD's National President, Rafael Lemaitre who is the Communications Director for the White House Drug Policy Office, and Michele Borba, a child safety expert. In addition, the co-producers of Dateline’s My Kid Would Never Do That franchise will offer their behind-the-scenes insights, and preview next Sunday's show.

  • Apr. 20: 'Day of Reckoning'

    NBC News' Amy Robach makes her debut on “Dateline” with the story of Bernadette Sugrim, a woman who lived in fear for her life in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Early on in their marriage, her husband Brian revealed that he had killed someone. A secret he made her keep, he told her he would kill her and her family if she told anyone. And when she finally broke her silence, she put a killer behind bars.

    Day of Reckoning airs Friday, April 20th, at 10pm/9c on Dateline NBC.

     

  • Meet NBC News' Amy Robach!

    Learn more about NBC News' Amy Robach, whose premiere Dateline report 'Day of Reckoning' airFriday, April 20th, at 10pm/9c.

    Hi, my name is: Amy Robach 

    When I first came across this story, I thought:   This sounds like a Dateline!

    My inspiration(s) in telling this story: Women.  Women who feel they have no way out of a bad or dangerous situation.

    The most memorable words I heard: “I was just thinking, keep running.  Keep running.  And I didn’t look back.  I was afraid to look back.  My shirt was ripped. I was sweating like crazy.  I couldn’t breathe. And I just kept running.”  - 11 year old Skye Sugrim describing how she escaped after her father’s brutal beating.

    The most admirable person I met along the way Skye Sugrim, at 11, had the courage to get help, when no one else did.  Some say she may have saved the lives of her entire family.

    What still surprises me about this storyThat fear is so powerful and so crippling.

     Biggest challenge while doing this story: Sitting face to face with a murderer.

    In a word, this is really a Dateline story about:Courage

    Last but not least, in general, I wishWomen who see this story, who live in constant fear, will feel the power of speaking up and taking action against evil.

    How do I Dateline? Usually the next day, watching on my dvr, because my alarm goes off at 4am on Saturdays!  This Friday, I’ll make an exception and watch it live from my bed.

  • Chat with Natalie Morales about 'stranger danger'

    All parents worry about keeping their kids safe. Does your child know what to do when approached by a stranger? Join us for a live video chat at 2pm EST on Monday, April 16th, with NBC News' Natalie Morales and other guests, including parenting expert Dr. Michele Borba, to answer your questions about how to keep kids safe from strangers.

    This web exclusive event is part of 'My Kid Would Never Do That', a new four-part Dateline series.

    Watch live streaming video from http://livestream.com>">nbcnews at livestream.com/livestream.com>
  • Apr. 16 - 22: Celebrate Earth Week with NBC!

    This week, NBC Universal is celebrating Earth Week with our "Green is Universal" initiative that focuses on bringing an environmental perspective to everything we do, informing and entertaining our audiences while incorporating more sustainable practices into our own operations.

    To learn more about what we're doing and how you can participate in "Green is Universal", visit our website:

    http://www.greenisuniversal.com/

     

  • Three Crucial Steps That Teach Kids 'Stranger Safety'

    Learn more from Dr. Michele Borba about the three crucial steps to teach your kids about stranger safety.  This article is part of the Dateline series 'My Kid Would Never Do That', beginning Sunday, April 15th, at 7pm/6c on Dateline NBC.

    STEP 1: Empower Your Child to Say “No!”

    If you want your kids to stand up for themselves, don’t get in the habit of speaking for them. Doing so, can rob a child from developing the very skills she needs to look and sound determined. Instead, find opportunities for your children to practice using strong body language and a firm voice, so they can learn to defend themselves.

    • Give Permission to Say “NO:” Studies show that kids under the age of nine rarely say “No” to a sexual offender because they were told “to obey adults.” So give your child permission to yell NO! “If someone tries to touch you in places your bathing suit covers, makes you feel at all afraid or uncomfortable, say ‘NO!’ You will not be in trouble. If someone tells you to do something you know is not right like get in an ice cream truck say ‘NO!’”
    • Use your gut instinct: A “fear factor” can be powerful in keeping kids safe, but often isn’t used because we fail to help our kids learn to trust their gut instincts. Teach your child that if he ever feels he could be in danger, to use that fear instinct and leave immediately. You’ll support him...no matter what!
    • Teach 9-1-1: Make sure your child knows her first and last name, your first and last name, phone number, and address. Program your home phone so your child can reach you and 9-1-1 instantly. Put a sticker on the “0.” Then teach how to dial “operator” to reverse charges, so she can call you from any phone anywhere.
    • Establish a family secret code. Choose a memorable code like “Geronimo,” to give only to family members or trusted individuals responsible for your kids in your absence. Then stress: “Never leave with anyone who can’t say our family’s secret code.” Create a texted code (like “111” or “123”) to be used by the child to contact you if in danger. It recently saved a California teen from abduction.
    • Teach: “Drop, Holler, and Run.” Teach your child that if he ever needs to get away quickly, he should drop whatever he is carrying, holler, and run. If possible, he should run to an adult (ideally a woman with children) screaming, “Help! This isn’t my dad!” If grabbed, he should hold on to anything (such as his bicycle handles or car door) holler, and kick an abductor in the groin or eyes. Dropping to the ground and kicking tantrum-style, makes it more difficult to be picked up.  Stress: “I’ll never be upset if you hurt someone if you’re trying to protect yourself.”

    STEP 2:  Help Your Child Recognize Suspicious Adult Behavior

    Instead of scaring (and possibly even confusing) your kids with the “Stranger, Danger” approach, a more effective strategy is teaching kids to recognize suspicious adult scenarios and behaviors.

    What follows are a few adult behaviors kids should be aware and leery of. These points are not designed for one discussion, but topics for numerous shorter chats over the years with your kids. Talk about each one in the context of your child’s age and then watch how your child responds. It may help you recognize your son or daughter’s vulnerability (such as “you can have a puppy!”) so you can discuss the issue more.   

    • Asking for help: “I need help finding my child. Please help me!”  “Can you help me look for my puppy?” Emphasize that a stranger does not ask kids for help.
    • Offering treats: “Would you like some candy?” “I have a skateboard in my car. Would you like it?” "I'll let you have one of my kittens (or pet my cat), if you will sit on my lap and watch this video.”
    • Feigning an emergency: “Hurry! Your mom was in an accident. I’ll take you to the hospital.”
    • Flouting authority: “I think you’re the kid who hurt my son. Come with me and we’ll go find your parents.”
    • Pretending to be an official: “I’m with the F.B.I. and this is my badge. You must come.” (Tell your child to call you ASAP to verify the situation.
    • Faking friendship. “I’m an old friend of your dad’s. He asked me to come over. Can you take me to your house?”  
    • Keeping a “secret.” Predators often try to make kids promise to keep the abuse a secret. Teach your child: “If any adult asks you to keep an uncomfortable secret, tell me.” You might say: “It’s okay to not keep a secret even if you promised an adult.”

    • Needing personal information: “What’s your address? If you give it to me, I’ll send you a toy.” “I need your phone number so I can contact your parent.” Stress to your child: “Do NOT give out personal information such as your name, address, phone number, school, parents name, social security number, credit card number.” Then teach: “An adult does not ask a child for personal information. They ask the child’s parent.” (An exception is the child’s school).
    • Requiring kids to open the door.” Stress repeatedly to never open the door to someone who is not an immediate family member. Explain that anyone who is a friend will understand your rule and not mind waiting. Stress: “Don’t say anything. Find a parent!” If you’re not home, tell your child to phone you from a backroom or 9-1-1 if in danger.

    The secret to these discussions is bringing up the topics in a relaxed way just as you discuss other safety concerns like using cross walks and pool safety.  The best time to start those talks is when your kids are young! You are laying the groundwork to not only prevent abuse but also get the crucial help a child might need just in case.  The key for kids is to learn: “Adults should not trick kids to do anything they don’t feel comfortable doing.” 

    You might brainstorm with your child which adults he or she could turn to for help in each situation if you’re not around (for instance, in your neighborhood or school) “Who could you go to for help?”


    STEP 3: Rehearse Stranger Safety Skills Repeatedly

    Keep in mind that the best way to teach any skill is to show what it looks like, and then practice over and over until the child can use the safety skill without you. Look for fun ways to rehearse the skill in context. If you see a child using “assertive” skills, point it out. Watch the Dateline special “Stranger Safety” with your child and use the examples of the children who got on the truck – as well as the children who did not.  

    While there are no guarantees for our children’s well-being, research shows we can teach a few crucial safety basics that may help them be less likely to be harmed. Though you may fear that talking about frightening issues such as kidnapping will scare the pants off your kids, not doing so is a mistake. Just consider your child’s age, developmental level and the safety skills he needs at that point in his life.

    Statistics show that the vast majority of child abductors are someone the child personally knows. In fact, research shows that 85[i] percent of kids found alive after being abducted did not consider their kidnapper to be a stranger, which is all the more reason to teach different types of safety tips. Above all, remind your son or daughter that you are there whatever the situation may be, and you love him or her no matter what. Now, go practice those skills!

    ...

    Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, parenting expert and TODAY show contributor. For more about her work see Michele Borba.com or follow her on twitter @micheleborba.



    [i] National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) research found 85 percent of kids found alive after being abducted did not consider their kidnapper to be a stranger: Nancy Huehnergarth, “Danger Zone,” Parents, Jan 2005, p. 155.

  • 'My Kid Would Never Do That'

    Explore each episode:

    Episode 1: Stranger Danger
    Episode 2: Driving & Texting
    Episode 3: Cheating
    Episode 4: Discrimination
    Original Series: Bullying


    About the 'My Kid Would Never Do That' series:
    With the help of parents and child behavior experts, "Dateline's" hidden cameras capture children as they make critical choices about stranger safety, driving while texting & under the influence, cheating and discrimination. Parents and experts watch as the surprising, revealing scenarios unfold and share tips that will help children prepare for these situations in real life.

    “We encourage parents to watch this series with their children,” said Liz Cole, Executive Producer, Dateline. “Each hour takes on an issue that keeps moms and dads up at night, and provides concrete advice that will help parents teach their kids to do the right thing.”

     

     

     

  • 'My Kid Would Never Do That: Stranger Danger'

    Explore each episode:

    Episode 1: Stranger Danger
    Episode 2: Driving & Texting
    Episode 3: Cheating
    Episode 4: Discrimination
    Original Series: Bullying

     

    Episode 1: 'Stranger Danger' (Sunday, April 15th, at 7pm/6c)

    While stranger abductions are rare, all parents worry about keeping kids safe. In this special report, parents and experts watch as the following scenarios unfold, testing whether or not children know what to do when approached by a stranger.

    • We test elementary school kids, including Natalie Morales’ own son, as they are invited for a private tour of an ice cream truck - will they remember what their parents have taught them about never getting into a vehicle with a stranger?
    • And giving out personal information in the digital age can be dangerous—will some young teens tell a stranger their names and addresses, even though they’ve been warned not to? Anxious parents will be watching, and our experts will be standing by to offer advice about what to tell kids.

    Learn tips about 'Stranger Danger' below: 

     

     

    Watch web exclusive videos for 'Stranger Danger':

    Back to the main 'My Kid Would Never Do That' page

  • 'My Kid Would Never Do That: Cheating'

    Explore each episode:

    Episode 1: Stranger Danger
    Episode 2: Driving & Texting
    Episode 3: Cheating
    Episode 4: Discrimination
    Original Series: Bullying


    About Episode 3: 'Cheating' (Sunday, April 29th, at 7pm/6c)

    Experts say cheating in schools is an epidemic, but most parents think their kid would never do it. From using cell phones to look up answers on a quiz to changing scores in an athletic drill, parents watch to see if their kids will be tempted to cheat. The report features insight and advice from Rosalind Wiseman, noted author of “Queen Bees and Wannabees” and an expert on teen ethics and behavior.

     

    Back to the main 'My Kid Would Never Do That' page

  • 'My Kid Would Never Do That: Discrimination'

    Explore each episode:

    Episode 1: Stranger Danger
    Episode 2: Driving & Texting
    Episode 3: Cheating
    Episode 4: Discrimination
    Original Series: Bullying


    Episode 4: 'Discrimination' (Sunday, May 6th, at 7pm/6c)

    This generation of American kids is the most diverse in history, but do teens know what to do when confronted with racial and ethnic discrimination and do they understand how hurtful it can be? In partnership with theGrio.com and NBCLatino.com, we place teenagers in situations where they will have to make some tough decisions. Will they base those choices on religion and/or the color of someone's skin or will they treat everyone equally? Their parents watch ... and learn powerful lessons that apply to all of us.

    Back to the main 'My Kid Would Never Do That' page

  • Apr. 15: Dateline premieres 'My Kid Would Never Do That'

    As part of a four-week series reported on by NBC News' Natalie Morales, “Dateline’s” My Kid Would Never Do That: Stranger Danger premieres on Sunday, April 15 at 7pm/6c. 

    While stranger abductions are rare, all parents worry about keeping kids safe. In this special report, parents and experts watch as the following scenarios unfold, testing whether or not children know what to do when approached by a stranger.

    • We test elementary school kids, including Natalie Morales’ own son, as they are invited for a private tour of an ice cream truck - will they remember what their parents have taught them about never getting into a vehicle with a stranger?
    • And giving out personal information in the digital age can be dangerous—will some young teens tell a stranger their names and addresses, even though they’ve been warned not to? Anxious parents will be watching, and our experts will be standing by to offer advice about what to tell kids.

    With the help of parents and child behavior experts, "Dateline's" hidden cameras capture children as they make critical choices about stranger safety, driving while texting & under the influence, cheating and discrimination. Parents and experts watch as the surprising, revealing scenarios unfold and share tips that will help children prepare for these situations in real life.

    “We encourage parents to watch this series with their children,” said Liz Cole, Executive Producer, Dateline. “Each hour takes on an issue that keeps moms and dads up at night, and provides concrete advice that will help parents teach their kids to do the right thing.”

    The series, available for purchase after it airs, can be found here.

  • Apr. 8: 'Haunted Memories'

    Ron Mott reports on a divorced mother of four, who was accused of a horrible crime and served 15 years in prison for what some say, never happened.

    Haunted Memories airs Sunday, April 8th, at 7pm/6c on Dateline NBC.

  • Meet new Dateline NBC correspondent Ron Mott!

    Hi, my name is:  Ron Mott

    I’ve been a Dateline correspondent for:  I'm a newbie. Started my first assignment in Fall 2011.

    My inspiration(s) in telling this story: Digging into what was dubbed 'The Shame of Lorain' to see what really happened. Or didn't happen.

    The most memorable words I heard: Nancy Smith telling me she'd rather stay in jail than admit to a horrendous crime she says she did not commit, even after nearly 15 years behind bars.

    What still surprises me about this story: That it is still unresolved after all this time.

    Last but not least, in general, I wish: Viewers will take calls to jury service with the utmost diligence, care and concern for justice as they would want and should expect from their peers when entrusted to sit in judgment of them.

    How do you Dateline?: I usually Dateline with my feet propped, a beverage in one hand, iPad in the other, and glued to yet another dramatic story.

     

  • Apr. 6: 'Vengeance'

    A woman accuses her boyfriend of rape and finds herself on the wrong side of the law. A he said, she said case turns into a quest for revenge. Lester Holt reports Vengeance on Friday, April 6th, at 10pm/9c on Dateline NBC.