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Subscribe to RSSNBC News' Amy Robach makes her debut on “Dateline” with the story of Bernadette Sugrim, a woman who lived in fear for her life in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Early on in their marriage, her husband Brian revealed that he had killed someone. A secret he made her keep, he told her he would kill her and her family if she told anyone. And when she finally broke her silence, she put a killer behind bars.
Day of Reckoning airs Friday, April 20th, at 10pm/9c on Dateline NBC.
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I want to know the answer of ONE QUESTION?? I s BESHAM (not Brian) Sugrim a MUSLIM?
I'm still wondering why she was never charged with aiding and abiding and accessory after the fact of murder?
I'm wondering why she stayed once he confessed the first murder in the basement of his house, before he murdered the woman. That struck me immediately! What did she think he would do if she was the one who he had confessed to?
I'm still wondering why she hasn't been charged with accessory after the fact of murder and aiding and abiding.
Thank you...wondering the same thing myself
I can't imagine the fear she lived with. Tough choices she had to make and unless you know all the circumstances surrounding the crimes and surrounding her life it isn't right to pass judgement. She had children to think of, and unless you are married to someone who has killed and has made threats to you and yours I say give her a break and back off. Who are any of you to pass any kind of judgement on her? I say she made the right decision for her and her children when she did, when she knew they were safe and he was in a position where he could not and would not be able to harm her or the kids. If you watched Dateline then you will know just what kind of hell she and her young children went through daily. People can be scared to come forward, people can be brainwashed in fear, we see it all the time, so unless you were there for every moment and every second of her life I say kudos for her to find the courage to finally come forward.
she is weak and pathetic. another idiot making up reasons for not doing the right thing and being weak minded.boohoo for her...she is also guilty.
I thought the same thing. Hmm don't know you - check. Just met you - check. You killed somebody??? Um ok sure, check. Man of my dreams - double check. Victim, NO. Idiot, YESSS. Don't play us. And she should've been charged as accessory after the fact for *both* crimes. WAhh i made a bad choice and had kids who were abused ... with an admitted killer - after he told me he had done, boo hohohohoooo. Cuz - she wanted the dream, she wanted her wedding ring. So live with it and stfu.
What kind of mother is this woman? She had enough evidence to put this monster away !!! I understand domestic abuse.... but not when it involves children !!
Those children will NEVER be normal after this type of upbringing. Sorry, but this woman is every bit as guilty as the husband for NOT removing her kids from this monster. He's nuts, and she's nuts too. I feel sorry for the children.
Could not have said it better.
She's guilty because she knew BEFORE she had them with that killer. And think, if she had dumped him and went to the police - maybe she'd have saved a life!
This woman is responsible for the second murder because she kept his secret about the first one. And what kind of mother would allow her child to be beaten repeatedly? She is despicable.
I was thinking the same thing! That second woman would still be alive if she didn't keep his first confession to herself! I wanted to scream watching this! And I would never let someone hit my child like that...you would have to kill me first before I sat back and watched it happen. I really think she should have charges brought against her for keeping her mouth shut!
This story must be a joke. I'm watching and waiting for them to say 'fooled ya... it's fiction'. How could the woman be sooooo stupid?
I totally agree with contessa, she isn't a mother she herself would be identified as an abuser as well. She allowed it to continue..
If she was my friend, I would have opened that envelope and intervened. Why did she do nothing? People who stand by and let things happen are as bad as the one doing it. I still think this is going to end with 'ha ha.. you wasted an hour of your life watching fiction'.
i understand the outrage over the mom but in her defense she felt stuck...if she stayed they would be beat if she left they would be killed. the daughter is a brave little girl. this guy is crazy.
I agree he is crazy> Look at how he talks. He's nuts, and that's the reason she should have done anything to protect her child. He came back and kept beating a child (over a period of time) and she was too scared to protect her child? You can't possibly have kids. I didn't carry my children and breastfeed them for a year to watch them be beaten by a nut job. I am so tired of women playing the victim role to stay out of jail. SHE HAD A GUN!!! She said she didn't want her kids to grow up without a father and mother- she couldn't live with that. Translation- she didn't want to go to jail.
Sorry, but in today's world there are way too many place she could have gone. Why didn't see talk to a Clergyman/women or someone. She would have been safe. All she had to do is open her mouth. Mel37 I agree with you..she had a gun. If nothing more, blackmail the SOB and tell him it you touch either of my children I will send you jail and tell everyone what you have done.
Brian showed signs of violence in high school when one day he opened the door of a teacher's classroom and spray painted the side of her head. He then fled the school and was apprehended downtown shortly after. There must have been other signs!
This story makes me sick. This is her 15 minutes of fame. Did he ever beat her or just threatened her. She should be in jail with him. This was her way of not getting in trouble for the abuse of her child. All bets are off when it comes to my children. We still see women as nurturing and vulnerable but they can be sociopaths too. What's sad is that it will take her daughter YEARS to realize her mom is just as big of a monster.
AGREED! The kids will realize one day, hey mom knew from the get? She still married him? She didn't leave him even though he tried to kill me? Ya mom cared about herself not me.
This story brought tears to my eyes. This little girl who testified against her father is so brave. And has obviously had help dealing with the trauma her father caused. So shame on all of you blaming her Mother. You don't get a brave child like her without a great parent. She feared for her life and unless you have spent a minute in her shoes you shouldn't judge. I applaud her and her daughter for their actions. They brought a murderer to justice and it is nice to see the system working for once. May they now sleep soundly and never again fear for their lives.
I have and YOU DON'T TOUCH MY CHILDREN!!! I left my ex, his mom told me to leave him. He knew not to breathe near our children. Yeah I found myself in a horrible situation but seeing my children hurt was never part of the deal. She didn't have a action she had a cover-up.
Michele2, the mother did not bring a murderer to justice, the young girl did. And you are right she was brave, but I don't think she learned that from her mother. Sorry.
I am disgusted how the interviewer treated this woman like she is some kind of hero. The minute she found out that he murdered that woman, she should have gone immediately to the police. How can you not? If he had continued to murder other woman she would have blood on her hands! Actually she already does because she should have gone to the police the first time he told her he killed someone. In addition, she allowed her kids to be beaten to a pulp and did nothing. At least her daughter was smart enough and brave enough to do something her mother couldn't-get help. She was terrified of her father, but at least she did something. This woman should be in jail. Instead she was treated like a princess by your show!!! Shame on
Dateline!
I hope I am replying to the above post. I wanted to agree with you, that the interview was not good. She basically let this woman think she was okay at what she didn't do, and that was not protecting her kids, and the dog. Just as important as far as I am concerned. I don't think I can watch this one again. I just get annoyed all over again.
Don't judge her unless you have been in her position. Fear is paralyzing. Brainwashing can make a person believe anything. Like he is smart and she is stupid. Like if she leaves, he will hunt her down and kill her. I survived 12 years then planned my escape. I did not walk out, I waited for my chance and then ran. But first I had to realize that I was the smarter one. Also, the violence had escalated to where I knew one of us was going to kill the other and I didn't care if I was the killer or the killed. What do you know about fear? What gives you the right to judge her? Listen and learn, don't pass judgement if you have never been in that position.
I was repeatedly beaten and raped AFTER I left. The police was looking for him on all shifts and driving by all day. Do whatever you want to me but don't touch my kids. Period. Would you have let your child be beaten by a lunatic and been too afraid to act? If so you should have never had children. I knew, his mother new, hell his whole family and the police knew he would have eventually killed me. I pass judgement because I have seen too many women do nothing until they have to explain why their child was beaten to death or giving birth to their fathers baby. My closest friend's mother finally admitted to her (once she was 35) that she knew all along she was being molested by her father but since she didn't want to raise 2 kids by herself she did nothing. And I wish this was the only story I knew.
She never say he repeatedly told her he would kill her if she said anything. Sorry, but she wanted to believe she would be in danger if she said anything. All she had to do was say something the first time and he would have been out of her life.
being a victim makes you want to believe her. but this story is not right. she is selfish and narcissistic. the story is so self serving, because notice her life was idyllic until he started taking the drugs and beating her/kids. so the fear wasnt there in the beginning - it was all about her dream, her love, her need. HER HER HER and her kid wouldve prolly died if she didnt run. She is the hero. Sadly she prolly wont realize until later how her mother let her down as well as how her mother put her in that place from the get go.
This is so so sad.....I have read all of the post but until you are the person who is living this nightmare day in and day out yall shouldn't judge her. That man had everyone fooled even his co-workers at Kalamazoo Valley Community College where he was working at. My brother worked with this crazy man and had many conversations with him. The staff was totally taken by surprised when this story broke on our news station. Her and her children where victims of this man for numerous of years. So stop judging god is the only judge.
Munchensan by Proxy. This woman is NOT a victim by any means. Where were HER parents, family, support system? Sorry but this is NOT the 19th century. There are shelters, victim's advocates, police. Bernadette is shameful!!
I am so outraged by this story that I am posting my very first public comment and am so relieved that many other viewers are as appalled as I! Despite the circumstances, she should be held accountable, in some way, for intentionally withholding information in a murder investigation, as well as for knowingly putting the lives of her children and others in danger. How many lives might have been saved if this woman shared her story years ago?!
shannon burrows, you could not have said it better. i also dont post, but this story stuck with me into the next day. absolutely maddening watching this woman. dont judge other posters say. Hello?? do you not remember what was discussed at the beginnng? HE TOLD HER, WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT 19 YRS OLD THAT HE MURDERED SOMEONE!!! WOWOWOWOWOWOW.
and what did she do? she MARRIED HIM!!! AND BROUGHT INNOCENT CHILDREN INTO HER MADNESS!
this is what she says: "I made it so it really just didn't exist" "I wanted the happy ever after"
"I wanted to love somebody" and I wanted to be loved". and "that's what he gave ME"
me, i, i, i, i. watching this story made me think, if she only stopped thinking of herself, and thought about the person he MURDERED in his parents basement, maybe there would not have been a 2nd murder. she is no hero. such a disturbing disturbing story. to see people such as this to self absorbed in their own needs. we are here to take care of each other besides ourselves. sad sad story.
YES! i totally agree. she did it because she was a narcissist ME ME ME. I wanted a happy ever ever. Sick and disgusting. I lived the life the kids did, where my mom put a man before me. Where my safety wasn't protected, but at least the guy didnt say first: well, before i move in, im gonna rape, beat and try to kill your kids and i'm gonna blame you for it in the end... and my mom said 'Uh duh ok suuure yep yep.' If those kids of hers are messed up, the blame lays at her dumba** feet. SHAME ON DATELINE letting her act the victim. She was an accomplice. Her children and the people her husband killed are victims.
My first husband was a sociopath. He put all his energy into lies, deceit and manipulation. I didn't learn the true extent of his deceit until the middle of our child custody hearing which, by the way, he won. Reading nothing but true crime books for ten years taught me how easily sociopaths fool those around them -- law enforcement, therapists -- a woman who assumes the best of folks is easy prey for these monsters. That Bernadette managed to raise such a wonderful daughter as Skye despite this horror is amazing. So, if you haven't been in the situation, and you presume to judge, please stuff it. And all my love to this family.
Chris and Skye are amazing kids. Buy them ice cream, please.
There's something very, very wrong with this woman. Similar to most of the posters, I found it nearly impossible to be sympathetic toward her. Her inaction put her children (and society) in peril. A hero? Wtf? Shocking episode.
if the system is failing again. bernadette's name and picture should be placed in the dictionary under
"UNFIT MOTHER"! the kids should become wards of the state with the mother only having visitation rights . women of her ilk tend to seek out and hookup with abusers over and over. the next boyfriend and/or husband may succeed in killing her kids. i saw nothing about the state ordering a social worker to research and report on the condition of this family for the sake of the kids. brian was right about her having brain damage except she was braindead long before the heart attack. the juror who called this woman a hero may cause a mistrial on the grounds one of the juors is a mental reject.
I left my husband when my twin daughters were 14 months for reasons far less criminal but detrimental to the emotional and physical well being of my girls as well as myself. I too feared for our safety and for that reason chose to pack up and leave one day while he was at work. I had no money, no family to speak of and little hope of a bright future for us but my love and maternal instincts far outweighed my concerns for my safety. As terrified as i was it was my duty as a mother to protect them especially when it was their own father that was responsible for the fear and the tears. The threats, the stalking and the violence did not stop in fact escalated after he realized i was not coming back. But unlike this woman i made a conscious decision to protect them even if it cost me my own life...this is what mothers are required to do!!! The fact that this woman had first hand information regarding a murder early on in the relationship and failed to ask any questions or report it to the authorities infuriates me...she chose instead to marry him. She deserves the marriage she signed up for...the children did not!!! To see the bruises on her daughter sickened me...mom allowed it and had that little girl not ran to the neighbor when she did i can only imagine the outcome. Mom should be held accountable. She was an accessory and had she opened her mouth earlier it would have saved the life of Linda Gibson. I think deep down inside his revelations were a cry for help...but not no avail since Bernadette is a poor excuse of a woman, mother and human being...
This episode is truly disturbing. Sugrim wasn't in a state of fear when her boyfriend told her he'd committed his first murder (assuming that really was his first murder). Why didn't she go to police then? Doesn't her failure to do so qualify her as an accessory after the fact?
How is she a hero? She put her children in danger that the photos show at least one may well have not survived. Where is the heroism in a mother who fails to protect her children from such terrible danger? Even given the compressions and omissions typical of these investigative shows, the evidence suggests Sugrim is not the victim she seems to believe she is. Her children certainly are, and my heart goes out to them.
There is so much here that a one hour show cannot begin to explain that. We (the family of Linda Kay Gibson) don't blame Bernadette. We don't consider her our hero either. That status goes to Sky. We do finally know what happened to Linda Kay and who did it and that he will never be allowed to hurt anyone else the way he has hurt us. That's a lot to have at this point. Yes, Sky and Christopher will be messed up their entire lives, but at least they have lives. He was going to kill Sky that night if she hadn't got away. Linda Kay was messed up herself and that's why she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. But she didn't deserve what he did to her, no one deserves that. I miss my cousin.
yes, Sky probably would have died that night. Her own mother wouldn't protect her from that so she had to do it herself. Pathetic!
I don't care how scared you are-once you bring kids into this world you need to protect them no matter what. How she could stand by and watch her kids get beaten by this man is beyond me. And people judge each other every day. I'm not perfect by any means, but as far as I'm concerned, I would be a child abuser and criminal if I knew what she knew and did nothing. Women need to stop acting like victims and do something. If you want to get the crap beaten out of you daily go ahead but don't subject your kids to that! And not reporting a murder? How can anyone justify that? again I don't care how terrified you are or threatened, she could have gone to the police at any point and been protected!!! The thing that bugged me the most out of the interview was how she acted like such a victim. She didn't ever say how terrible she felt about not protecting her kids or other woman who could have been her husband's future victims.
After reading everyones comments I am puzzled. How can any of you judge what she should or shouldn't have done? How do any of you know what you would or would not do in her situation? We all can say what we would do if I were in her situation but the truth is you are not in her situation nor have you ever been! Her children were in her mind in every decision that she made, whether it is a decision you agree with or not makes no difference, but I believe they are alive because she made them stay alive. If she would have come forward years ago like all of you believe she should have what is to say her word against his would have been enough? What is to say he could have walked and then what? He could have killed her and then those children would be in his care and who can imagine how that would turn out? Oh I am sure someone will speculate and say what they will but the truth remains that when the opportunity presented itself for her to do what she did she took that opportunity. So unless your name is God or Jesus Christ, then keep your judgements to yourself, walk a mile in her shoes they say, I doubt half of you could walk a tenth of a mile and go through what she went through. I say Bless you Bernadette, and thank you for having the courage to come forward when you did.
She knew where a victim was buried for 8 years that her crazy husband murdered. It is unreasonable to think this woman deserves sympathy. They are not safe because of this woman's courage. They are safe because her daughter finally pulled the plug on the madness. Her husband let her know his credentials were murder and martial arts and she was proud to be married to him. That is madness !
Dionne judging is something everyone does. You made a judgement to not think she is wrong. We made the right one :) sorry but true. And i have walked in shoes - the shoes her children did. And believe me, the hell i went through - well i know you couldn't have nor should anyone have to. Her self serving lies about him threatening her are convenient otherwise why have kids? He didn't threaten her til the abuse and he probably did it to keep her under control. Thats how abusers/psychopaths operate. But remember she said she wanted the dream? so did the dream from the beginning include threats to her family??? HELL NO. Like i said - self serving lies from this - disgusting person. And the threats to the none existent kids dont count... she hadn't had them yet when *he told her he was a killer*.
If you were abused or have been in an abusive relationship i understand your empathy, but have some for yourself, not her or people who allow others to harm truly innocent people. Just my humble opinion.
I was extremely disturbed by this story. I worked in domestic violence and am fully aware of the wheel of abuse. However, this woman married a man that admitted to murder at the onset and never left him. She shrugged it off and that is very disturbing. It is not normal for a mother to stand back and watch her child "yelp" in pain. I never comment on stories until now. This one has disturbed me for days. I can't get it out of my head that she did not contact police about the second murder. They could have arrested him just as they did when her daughter finally pulled the plug. This woman is not innocent. She harbored a fugitive knowingly after the second murder for eight years. If it weren't for her daughter, it would still be going on today. As she stated over and over during the interview, "I don't know why I didn't do something." She is as sick as her crazy husband. I'm glad she and her children are safe but I cannot find sympathy for her. Only her children.
Those kids will grow up and realize the truth. And hate her for it. Plus you can already see the daughter kinda knows...
I have seen this show before, and the only thing I can say is how could this woman not protect her kids. I don't know how she could possibly look at herself in the mirror. Her fear for herself, was stronger than her need to protect the children, and I might add the dog. Of course she says now to people, just don't be afraid to do something like leave, I believe she said something to that effect. Just an excuse to me. She was a selfish coward. I know that sounds harsh, but that is the truth.