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Subscribe to RSSBullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the person being bullied has a hard time defending himself or herself. Usually, bullying happens over and over and can also happen online or electronically. Check out these tips about bullying for kids and adults.
Also, Rosalind Wiseman, author of the groundbreaking look at bullying Queen Bees and Wannabees, counsels school administrators nationwide on how to handle an age-old problem. Here she offers four things you should know to help protect your child.
Is your child a target for bullies?
Is your child a victim, a bully, or both?
Can you tell when your child is in trouble?
How do you stop a bully?
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Thank you for showing what it is happend on these schools with bullies kids.It is hard, they do so many bad things and they suffer so much.The schools officials should take a better look of what happen in their schools.If you panish the bully kids they allways find a way to excape....it is not true they are not feel sorry for what they doing...who give them the right to bully someone....whey they think the are better than them...who give them the right to judge them....they are students, they should have equal rights ....Thank you....
Watching this story unfold about the mean girl bullies that essentially killed Phoebe Snow makes me incredibly disappointed in the children of today. These mean girls cry now because they were caught and now know what it feels like to have others saying things about them that may or may not be true. The school shares responsibility. Why did those mean girls let the offending boys go without blame?. These cruel boys and girls should be given jail time and the school district should be censured. Schools must keep a strong, unrelenting participation in bully prevention. Teaching at school should not be just reading, writing and arithmetic. Perhaps if these young people see strong action taken against words as weapons, they will think twice about what comes out of their mouths.
Phoebe Snow is/was a dead singer, genius!
Let me just say that this story haunts me every day. I was a high-school kid in Hadley in the 80's and it was absolutely horrendous for me to attend school there even then. #1) Understand that despite it being the 5-college area, the towns themselves are small towns. Small town = small minds. Period. And the gang mentality is alive and well. Unless you grow up in that small town, you will always be an outsider. She was a threat. Phoebe was the new, pretty girl that secured a popular guy that the small town girls always wanted - right at the start - just like I did. And she was going to be punished for it for as long as they would get away w/it. I begged and pleaded w/my parents to take me out of that school, I cried, I called in sick... my parents went to the administration for direction/assistance but the administration just "talked to" the bullies and then I got it even worse when I was caught in the hallways w/out adults around... no adult wanted to accept responsibility for the problem. I look back and I don't have any idea how I made it through all those horrible years as it never got better for me until I became a senior... every class above me punished me and terrorized me until they graduated. It was hard for my parents as they didn't know what to do... it was hard for me because I didn't know what I did to deserve the treatment. Although my parents still live there, I do not go back to that repulsive, closet-minded town. That includes not seeing them. Understand that those small towns will defend themselves to the hilt in order to not accept blame - it's called unadulterated small town ignorance - pure and simple. For anyone to take any other angle except that this girl was abused, insulted, degraded, and intimidated in order for her to think that death was her only option... you should be ashamed of yourself. Rot in hell Velasquez, you're sad because you're singled out now... just like Phoebe was at the time - how does it feel? Not so good huh? Save the tears, zero ounce of sorry for you.
I am 51 am still haunted by the severe bulling I put up with my freshman year in highschool. I had my locker destroyed, I was stalked. My parents were told that I wouldn't be coming home because I was taken. The list went on. It has caused me to have trust issues. I was lucky although I thought about suicide and still do I never did it. Adults were even involved in my destruction. If it wasn't for the friendship of my father and the superintendent of schools at the time who pulled my records and made me disappear. Then the safe haven of St Elizabeths I would never have survived.
You're not going to like my comments here which are strictly based on what was shown yesterday on the Phoebe Prince(?) episode but I truly believe there was something mentally wrong with this girl and I think her parents are most responsible and think the DA just tried to make a name for herself and the kids that made fun of her didn't bully her per se but were just doing mean and stupid things that high school kids do. What I was most shocked at was that it appears she was only being hassled for around 2 or so months. Big F'ng deal, no normal person kills themselves over that.
My first year in high school over 30 years ago, the first year I got it bad from a bunch of kids in a new school. A lot of kids go through that. Some of those same kids later became friends and by the second year the hassling had all gone away as everyone knew me by then. Its called moving on. I still had some friends my first year and I certainly didn't kill myself, cry or felt hopeless. You just move on. I thought it wouldn't last forever and it didn't. You certainly don't kill yourself after a few months. If it had gotten so bad for her she should have told her mother/parents. Instead she apparently took a deliberate OD on something that her father seems to minimize.
Sorry based on what I saw, I am blaming the victim because frankly it just looked like she experienced a bunch of crap for a few short months that a lot of other kids go through too. I wouldn't call it excessive bullying or anything. I'd just say it was obnoxious kids being obnoxious. The problem is that has become a politically correct wuss world. I'm not condoning anything but I think the reason the girl killed herself is she had mental problems. No apologies.
You're right. It doesn't make me, her family, or anyone who loved or tried to help Phoebe happy. You think there was something "mentally wrong with this girl"? You also comment that it is okay to do "mean and stupid things" and "hassle" someone who may have a mental disability. Were you raised by wolves?
If you went to school over thirty years ago, where are your manners, or your etiquette? Don't you know enough not to use nasty language on the internet?
Phoebe was an intelligent, spirited, beautiful young girl who was a pleasure to teach. I had an eagerness to learn, but was very shy. She didn't have "mental problems," but was a young girl who moved around a lot and had never had a school where she stayed long. Thus, she really felt the need to fit in. At first she didn't even want to come to this country, but once she was here she wanted to have the chance to make friends that she could graduate with.
Unfortunately for her, she ended up in a community that is very insular--if you aren't from South Hadley, you don't matter. Phoebe wasn't harassed for a few months, she was picked on because she was smart, beautiful, unique, and had a sparkling personality--which she quickly learned to hide. She was picked on by boys, girls, and some of the faculty.
What happened to Phoebe has been covered up by the local South Hadley police, the ex D.A. Scheibel, Bazelon (whoever she is), the administration I'm sure, and all of the football players that crashed Phoebe's sleepover in November. Where is the missing police report? Well, we would have to ask the policemen that answered the call that night from the lady downstairs, after one of the kids knocked on her door to tell her that it was getting out of hand upstairs. We would have to ask the policeman who let all of the football players leave telling them that it was an early Christmas present and to have a good game the next day.
I am disgusted by your comment. Phoebe lived through hell and died because of it. Shame on all of you who think depression is just something "mentally wrong". Depression is a disease. Being harassed to death and having to watch the girl that was one that added to her loss of self-esteem, self-worth, and actually frightened her to DEATH was disgusting.
I think that Bazelon, the local newspaper, Dateline, and all the others that have revictimized victims like Phoebe should have to walk in her shoes for just one day. Shame on all of you!
p.s. Phoebe did the honorable thing by apologizing to Kayla after she found out that Sean was Kayla's boyfriend. She apologized because she didn't know. My question is didn't Sean know that he was Kayla's boyfriend? Come on, girls, we need to stick together. Kayla the one to get angry at was Sean, not Phoebe!
@Phil Hersh... You were bullied 30 years ago... but were your bullied with sexual undertones ?
I haven't seen the TV program but I thought that Phoebe Prince was sexually assaulted by her male bullies..
Based on what was presented on Dateline and strictly that she wasn't sexually assaulted and it appears she had sexual relationships with 2 of the males who harassed verbally later on. I say it appears she had sexual relationships because apparently the males were charged with statutory rape which is when someone has consensual sex with a minor.
Again if there was more to this story than what was presented which there probably was, then my comments aren't warranted but I just commented on what was presented by Dateline.
Yes, it 'appears' because there has been a major cover up. She was sexual assaulted.However, Dateline couldn't report what the local police covered up. SHE WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED!!!! Can you hear me, Hersh? Many people know it, including the police, but after all they all the law, and who are you supposed to call if the law doesn't do the lawful thing? Ghostbusters?
Unfortunately it takes a case like this to bring this horrible situation which is frighteningly common into the spotlight. If Pheobe had not taken her life - this serial bullying would continue in schools throughout the country unnoticed and without recourse to the perpetrators . The victims could only hope that either school officials know and take action, their parents could do something about it or that it would just go away. We've seen time and time again that it's not that simple and the victims go through living hell through their formative years and have scars that can affect them for the rest of their lives. Everyone's DNA is different and some people can get on with their life - but what about the one's who can't. Is there supposed to be no solution for them? Are these people supposed to remain isolated and just 'grin and bear it' and count down the days till they can leave for college or get a job away from the mob mentality? Surely society has evolved sufficiently such that there is some form of protection from this kind of abuse.
Having moved away from Ireland at quite a young age I understand how much of a fish out of water this girl must have felt. All the positive things about moving to the States must have excited her - welcoming neighbours, people from diverse backgrounds all mixed together, the opportunity to be all you can be etc. She didn't get the chance to learn where her place was supposed to be and who the jocks were and who the popular girls were and not to enter into that circle unless she had proved herself. She was basically a very naive young girl out of her depth.
That Vazquez girl still doesn't get it - crocodile tears and all. Her mother doesn't get it either. She's completely innocent and never started anything although she does admit approaching Pheobe over something that had nothing to do with her and started having a standing argument with her?? Yeah, sounds like nothing to me aswell!!!
Pheobe's parents are something else. I take my hat off to them. I wonder why it could be so hard for the 4 convicted criminals to just say they were sorry. Speaks volumes about their personality and their parents but I guess they'll have to carry that stigma with them for the rest of their lives the same way the victims of their bullying would have to carry the abuse with them for the rest of their lives. Maybe there is justice afterall!
Sorry if my kid took a deliberate OD of something, I wouldn't dismiss it like the father did and I would take her out of school immediately for a semester and get her psychiatric help. I also think someone has mental problems if they take their own life because for 2 or 3 months she's get hassled in school. As someone over 50 todays kids and parents are wusses. Bullying too me is getting beaten up every day. She was just harassed. Boo Hoo. Kids have to learn to stand up for themselves. Sorry I'm not that sympathetic based strictly on what was reported on Dateline.