I dont live in Tenn, I am from Fl, and anybody who shoots someone in the back while they are sleeping is a Murder by Law.Abuse is not ok by me at all either and just b/c he was a preacher doesnt mean its ok to except it.Kinda funny how we only here one side of the story, and the one side we here is poor poor me,how was it even possible for her to get bail before her trial?

Thanks for the enlightened comment chris-2617423. The fact that this woman got off basically "scott-free" is ridiculous. Not to mention the free high-profile attorneys. The woman in this case HAD ALL THE POWER already. A divorce would have destroyed the preacher. Just the threat would have gotten him into counselling and the mere accusation of physical (or emotional) abuse would have gotten him immediately thrown in jail. To shoot him in the back while he was sleeping? Unconscionable. Where is any evidence or other testimony that he had been suffocating his children. Can you suffocate your children to get them to stop crying on a regular basis and not have one of them die once in a while? Any woman in this day and time that does not know she has help and numerous options available other than shooting their husband in the back while he sleeps is akin to someone not knowing smoking could be bad for your health and should not be allowed to raise children. I piety for her kids. I certainly WOULD NOT let one of my sons date one of them. I would fear for his safety with what they are being taught.

Unless you have been there you probably can't understand how abuse and intimidation can destroy you. It does somehow prevent you from doing what seems logical to a person who is not abused. When I watched her story I re-lived my life. It is difficult to understand how a seemingly smart and 'independent' person like myself put up with the abuse for more than 10 years. Yes, even the forced sex, never knowing what was going to trigger his anger, and having to defend my children from his abuse. Outsiders cannot see what goes on within a family. My sister actually hit me and got very angry with me when I didn't let him 'punish/slap' my 3 year old when she was whining - she told me she didn't like the way I had disrespected him. She was whining because she was tired and hungry.... we had done everything he made us do which did not include stopping to eat or rest. That was not going to happen until HE felt it was time. That's when I realized that nobody, not even your own family, knows the dynamics of your relationship.

After a lot of suffering in silence for the sake of 'family image', one day while I was at work he took all his possessions and left without having said a word or given a hint. He went to live with another woman. That was the BEST day in our lives! Not a tear was shed! It has been 3 years since he left, and I still do not understand why I allowed him to treat us that way. My daughters and I now live a very peaceful and fulfilling life and they refuse to see him.

Although I have not been in a abusive relationship, I support the right to defend yourself from the abuser. If you fear for your life, then you have the power to do whatever is necessary to protect it & the life of your children. I did some volunteering at the local CASDA where I live and I felt sorry for the many women & some children who came in. There were a few men, but 99% were women. I think that "Been there-2618930" is a VERY LUCKY WOMAN that her abuser left! That she didn't have to use another recourse to stop the abuse. It's hard for the abused to leave, I've seen it. Good luck to you "Been There...". I wish you power to live your life.

I agree, this woman has been tramitized beyond comprension, if you have a mother, daughter, sister, aunt or friend please understand this is real.

Well here's a few fun fact's about the poor little victim. She says the gun went off "accidentally."

Well did the phone get unplugged "accidentally?"

How about the get away reservation's, another "accident?"

Maybe the $17,000.00 in hot checks was supposed to $17.00 but she couldn't see thru the tears, just another unfortunate "accident?"

So she shoots a man in the back but somehow she's the "victim?" But, but , but, she says she was abused and we all know women never lie. I mean it's not like women lie in divorce cases and gain child custody 85% of the time forcing men to be nothing more that walking ATM machines. Or the 865,000 restraining orders a year that are given out like candy to women, forcing men to live in the street all on a womans say so, without a shred of evidence.

There's a lot of truth in the old saying, "dead men tell no tale's." She can spin any tale she wants and theier's no one alive who can refute it. Make no mistake's, she is a cold blooded murderer who deserve's to spend the rest of her life in prison, and certainly not deserving of any pity.

So are you suggesting that this is the husband's fault?

The husband who was shot dead by a murderer. The husband who never had a charge against him, or a 911 call made about him, or even a close friend or confidant of the wife... who said a negative word about him.

I wonder how this would play out in court, this abuse allegation. At this stage since one of the two parties is dead, there cfn be no trial.

If you allow this murder to go unpunished, you've opened the door to this abuse defense... and the whole country is degraded.

Hey "BeenThere"... you say:

BeenThere-2618930

Unless you have been there you probably can't understand how abuse and intimidation can destroy you

Could you imagine how "being dead" can destroy you? That's where the husband is right now.

Unless you have been abused you have no idea what it is like. Someone telling you what to wear what not wear, how to speak how not to speak. Your not entitled to an opinion. You're not allowed to make decisions regarding your children unless he says ok. The kids fear him, you fear him. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. Your not allowed to talk to anyone unless he approves. He takes your entire family away from you saying their all bad and you don't need them anymore...all you need is him. Constantly monitoring your cell phone and house phone to see who you are talking and god for bid it's someone he doesn't approve of. You have to tell your friends and family to stop calling because each time they call you pay the price. You find yourself telling him lies all the time just to keep him happy....doesn't matter if your happy you just want him to leave you alone. You do this because if you don't they will badger you for hours non-stop until you agree with everything they say. This is an awful way to live and is very difficult to get out.

Thanks for the only "first hand" comment of the night! Right on.

I have to agree with you. Mary should be in prison. I know first hand to. I am a former member ot the COC and know that doctrine all to well. For her to say she felt she had no choice, I can understand. I lived in an abusive relationship for years and was told I had to endure it by the COC. I knew Matthew from a private christian school where my children attended as he acted as the boys Bible teacher. He was definately was a jerk first hand but she did not have to kill him. I didn't kill my spouse. I left him as well as the COC. My God would not condone one of his children being abused, or murdered for that matter.

Outraged in TN: do you not think he could be guilty of abusing his wife? If not why not?

Thank you for recognizing the obvious. (Im not quite sure how the others are thinking... murder is murder... and it is illlegal...)

Are you saying that the media would not have been all over this situation simply "because" her husband was a preacher? People like you and Fighting4Sadie would have eaten this up and she would have been a hero. The secular media loves to bring down preachers. Where have you been? She shot her husband in the back while he slept and absolutely no evidence was presented (that was shown) showed that he had been abusing her actually in any way. Only her testimony. He did not have a say because he was shot in the back as he slept. How would you like that kind of trial and opportunity to prove your case if you were him?

Yet almost everyone still says OJ got away with murder.

jazzi - you're correct (as a long-time former "member", Outraged in TN does not surprise me at all - deluded...) - most people have no idea what she was up against. It's another world there and the cultural/religious issues will drive you crazy! the worst part now-days is that she might be the one dead right now if she had tried to get out with the kids - or lost her girls in the process. I could hardly listen to her testimony (and didn't if I had a choice) because I've been there and it gives me the "creeps" to hear it all over again - I hurt for her if nobody else did.

Scarlet -- I hurt for Mary too, and you are right -- unless one has "lived' in the CofC, one can't possibly understand. I was a past victim of domestic violence myself -- I did get out safely, but if my perpetrator had been a CofC preacher in a small southern town, it might well not have ended well for me. I can't imagine going through the abuse she did, plus being a member of the CofC, AND married to a CofC preacher! It IS "another world". CofC mantra: "But what would people think of our family if they knew what's been going on! We would have no choice but to leave town!" -- appearances mean everything in CofC land.........

I am sorry that people some congregation have offended you or hurt you in some way. Members of the Church of Christ are just like people in other groups in the world...not perfect. The same problems happen and the same fears exist. "CofC land" exists only if people allow it. Many groups of Christians, who are trying to follow the Bible, are only concerned with helping others and saving the lost. I am certain that if Mary or Matthew had reached out for help, it would have been there in any congregation of God's people.

Well said Christian First. The anger some display with their personal biases detract from the true issues here - the loss of life and emotional damage to all family and friends involved, including Mary. This is NOT a "CofC" issue, how sad it is that individuals try to make it such - this is a "human" issue that individuals from all races, ethnicities, religions, socio-ecnomic backgrounds, etc. deal with. The news media latches onto the "preacher's wife" story because it is sensational and sensationalism sells.

I am from McNairy County, though I have not lived there in more than 20 years, and I know the sentiment that is held by most there, as it relates to Mary Winkler's guilt or innocence. I do not know if she is telling the truth but I have an opinion. I do know that her husband's version has never and will never be told. I do know lives are forever scarred and it sickens me for individuals to lessen the seriousness of the case by their overdrawn, culturally incompetent, stereotyping remarks about members of the CofC. Domestic violence is a serious issue and you lessen respect of the serious nature with such remarks.

Sad...Mary's husband is not here to defend himself against her accusations of abuse. Karma always comes back to haunt those who've committed evil and Mary will one day answer to God.

Where is the evidence that Matt abused Mary?  Oh I forgot...women do not need evidence, they just have to say it.  This is even according to the Violence Against Women Act!   NO proof is needed.



What the VAWA does:

Define a legal "Determination" that domestic assault took place solely on the statement of the alleged victim, unless the "agency" has an independent, reasonable basis to find the individual not credible. {Sec. 404 (2)(B)(i) and (vi). With this home-made "Determination" of abuse, all the other provisions of VAWA II become effective. [Note the true meaning of this provision once combined with the next item]

Deny funding to any domestic violence center that questions or attempts to assess abusive behaviors, motives, or credibility of a woman claiming to be a victim (Sec. 251(b)(4)).

Amend the Parental Kidnapping Act to federally-fund child kidnapping by allegors of abuse (whether abuse occurred or not). Even one alleged incident of abuse invokes absolute immunity from prosecution. Remember that "victim" status is based solely on assertion.

Amend the Employee Retirement Income Security Act and I.R.S. Code to permit looting of retirement accounts and tax refunds of alleged perpetrators by those alleging child abuse.

Fund H.U.D. to provide permanent free housing to any woman who alleges spousal or child abuse Remember that "victim" status is based solely on assertion.
.

Require health care insurance companies and worker's compensation plans to provide permanent insurance coverage to any woman alleging abuse Remember that "victim" status is based solely on assertion. .

Bar deportation of illegal immigrant women who claim abuse, grant immigrant status, automatically give them welfare benefits, while prosecuting the alleged perpetrator.

Make it nearly impossible for employers to dismiss or discipline women who allege domestic abuse, and award attorneys fees against employers dealing with emotionally unstable female employees.

Create unemployment compensation and paid leave entitlements. Employers would be gagged from internal discussion questioning why the leave is necessary.

Fund the kidnapping of children across state lines by women who allege domestic violence or child abuse. [Remember that "Victim" status is legally recognized solely on the basis of an assertion of domestic violence or child abuse.]

Fund "Youth" programs to spew antifamily radical feminist propaganda into our public schools.

Fund only NGO's and SBO's to tell governmental agencies what to do.

Fund attorneys and the Bar Associations to provide free services only to women alleging abuse.

Codify into federal law a large collection of radical feminist propaganda deeply skewed along gender lines. For example, parental alienation syndrome (where a parent programs a child to dislike or hate the other parent) would be legislated out of existence.

Re-define the definition of domestic violence in the Omnibus Crime and Safe Streets Act to exclude 'acts of self defense.' Remember that "victim" status is based solely on assertion.

Create a strong federal presumption for sole maternal custody irregardless of who actually did most of the childcare, the quality of the childcare, or other factors of marital moral responsibility. [Sec. 241 (1)].

Fund the establishment of "Supervised Visitation Centers" to study all the fathers who become "perpetrators" on the sole basis of an assertion of abuse. Existing NGO's would have line-item veto over funding of these centers, assuring adherence to the female-victim model.

Mandate that domestic violence treatment centers help only women. Existing non-governmental abuse centers would be given state-level "line-item-veto" authority to approve/dissapprove applications for new centers.

Blame any domestic disagreement on men, and deny funding to any organization that disagrees with this approach.

Where spousal conflict is alleged to have taken place, children would no longer be able to benefit from parenting by the noncustodial parent.

Where serious spousal conflict is alleged, shared parenting would be precluded, inuring to the benefit of a custodial parent irregardless of the source of conflict.

actually Shattered Men you are WRONG!!! we DO need evidence, you have NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT... but hey, life will happen to you, and you will eat your words, and you will remember that I said this to you...

Sorry, but her accusation, after the murder, does not mean a conviction for domestic violence. Why are all the useful idiots rushing to defend the murderess, who was tried and convicted, but insisting that the husband was guilty, based solely on HER word?

I am a an abused survivor. For some reason when we women try to report abuse it's all our fault. So tell me who do we go to for help??? Report it to the police and they tell you to try to work it out or leave when you know it's going to get ugly. But where do we go, womens shelter, ever been to one? Why is it we are the ones to have to leave, why not take the scum bags in? Now tell me. what preacher, who is decent, has porn on their computer unless something is happening in that home!!!! It was not only her word here people, she had people from her and her husbands church state about the black eyes and the mood change as soon as the husband walked in. YES, you can be raped by your spouse!!! But again when you try to report it the man always makes light of it and you don't dare say anything while he's standing there. No one will know what went on behind those doors, but I would bet it wasn't good. So all you folks who defend this " so called preacher ", ask why he had the porn.

Gee wiz, 21 years wasted. Think of all those Sunday mornings you could have slept in.

And, I suppose, it takes a REAL woman to shoot a man in the back while he sleeps?

It does if it's a choice between her life and his!!! Research how many die each year at the hands of their husbands and then ask that question!! You think this is the first time this has happened, then you need to go look up , " The Burning Bed ", cause it was based off a true story, and she poured gas all over her husband and set him on fire while he was sleeping!!!!

And when the preacher's wife has a bad day, the preacher is the one who takes a load of #6 bird shot in the middle of his back. Saying that she had no other way out, just excuses first degree, pre-meditated murder. Wasn't there something written on a stone tablet about "Thou Shalt Not Kill"?

Aren't women considered the equals or even the betters of men?

Well, according to the courts, either they are considered children who can't control themselves and thus gain "understanding" and "empathy" when they snuff out the life of or permanently scar their husbands and/or children, OR men considered second class citizens, and always in the wrong if their their wife feels need to "off" them for whatever reason.

For every one of these abuse stories, attempting to justify Mary's evil, there is another horribly and obviously abused, woman, child (most child abuse is done by women, BTW) or man, that did not murder as a resolution to their torment.

Yes He will!!! But it is because of people like you that I do not attend church any more. I hate hypocrites who bury their head in the sand and thinks that a " Man of God " could do no wrong. Yes I believe in God, Heaven Hell and Satin. When I leave this world I will only answer to one, and that is my maker!!!

No God is not who you should be afraid of now, he seems to leave us to our own stupidity, be afraid of choosing poorly and pissing off your wife. Many people seem to feel it is right that your wife is your judge, jury and executioner.

If you are a woman, how safe would you feel if your husband had that right? You got him pissed off and he killed you, got out of the institution (you know, on "battered husband syndrome") in a year or so, free as a a lark, and went on with the kids like nothing happened. Sound good?

Right on!

@Lives in Selmer

You know you have defined what really happened! Her hot shot pro bono lawyers put her husband on trial not her. Of course he was DEAD at the time and couldn't fight back.

Good going!

This sentence was laughable. If this had been a man in the same situation he would have been lucky to get 20 years.

You mean men like OJ Simpson?

Mary I understand, I was almost in your shoes. Your story made me weep tonight. I almost married a man just like your husband. There were so many similarities it was eerie. I came very close to being the sexually, emotionally, and physically abused pastor's wife. I was the sexually and emotionally abused finance (he threaten to beat me). He left me... because I got pregnant. After watching your story I feel blessed that he did.

I pray that you can find some peace.

Mary said the shot gun went off "accidently" Did the phone get unplugged accidently? Did the reservations for her get away get made accidently too? Did she accidently write 17 THOUSAND dollars of hot checks for which she and Matt were to meet the authorities at the bank the day he was shot to talk about paying it back? (The last I knew, writing checks for money you knew you did not have was a crime but she got away with that too)
What would YOU do if you accidently shot someone? Would you watch them bleed to death or would you call 911?
Also, there was NO EVIDENCE of abuse and I contend there is a good chance Matt did not even know about the high heels that were used to prove his abuse. He is no longer here to defend himself as she trashes his name more and more.
There are thousands of resources for abused women but very few for abused men. Often if men called a domestic violence hotline he is either called a liar or is hung up on. Often men who call the police for being beaten is will end up in jail as he is the one who will be arrested Yet at least half of the victims of abuse are MEN! This is according to every unbiased research and report I have seen but go ahead and only listen to the reports taken by feminist groups although this would be like asking Ronald McDonald what the best hamburger is.

I would love DATELINE to give equal time to the other side of this story but I doubt they will. Just like Congress does each time the Violence Against Women Act is up for renewal....they will get statements from many feminist groups but never any from the other side. This is just like writing racial relations laws while getting advice from the KKK but never asking the NAACP!
Is it not time to listen to BOTH SIDES? To value ALL our people even if they happen to be male? We have been told that we have a right to defend ourselves from attacks…but you do NOT have this right if you are a man and your attacker happens to be FEMALE!
Do some research. Do a web search for Shattered Men, Abused Men, and Media Radar and remember, one sided laws that only protect half the victims of domestic abuse at the expense of the other half will only make it more dangerous for everyone. It will also enable some to literally get away with premeditated murder!

Here's the other side shatteredmen, why don't you educate yourself?

National Domestic Violence Statistics

* From the Family Violence Prevention Fund http://endabuse.org/

Prevalence of Domestic Violence

• Estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend per year1 to three million women who are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year.
• Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.
• Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives, according to a 1998 Commonwealth Fund survey.
• Nearly 25 percent of American women report being raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or date at some time in their lifetime, according to the National Violence Against Women Survey, conducted from November 1995 to May 1996.
• Thirty percent of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year.
• In the year 2001, more than half a million American women (588,490 women) were victims of nonfatal violence committed by an intimate partner.
• Intimate partner violence is primarily a crime against women. In 2001, women accounted for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence (588,490 total) and men accounted for approximately 15 percent of the victims (103,220 total).
• While women are less likely than men to be victims of violent crimes overall, women are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner.
• In 2001, intimate partner violence made up 20 percent of violent crime against women. The same year, intimate partners committed three percent of all violent crime against men.
• As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy.
• Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate.
• Male violence aganst women does much more damage than female violence against men; women are much more likely to be injured than men.
• The most rapid growth in domestic relations caseloads is occurring in domestic violence filings. Between 1993 and 1995, 18 of 32 states with three year filing figures reported an increase of 20 percent or more.
• Women are seven to 14 times more likely than men to report suffering severe physical assaults from an intimate partner.

Domestic Homicides

• On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an intimate partner.
• Women are much more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner. In 2000, intimate partner homicides accounted for 33.5 percent of the murders of women and less than four percent of the murders of men.17
• Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause, and evidence exists that a significant proportion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners.
• Research suggests that injury related deaths, including homicide and suicide, account for approximately one-third of all maternal mortality cases, while medical reasons make up the rest. But, homicide is the leading cause of death overall for pregnant women, followed by cancer, acute and chronic respiratory conditions, motor vehicle collisions and drug overdose, peripartum and postpartum cardiomyopthy, and suicide.

Health Issues

• The health-related costs of rape, physical assault, stalking and homicide committed by intimate partners exceed $5.8 billion each year. Of that amount, nearly $4.1 billion are for direct medical and mental health care services, and nearly $1.8 billion are for the indirect costs of lost productivity or wages.
• About half of all female victims of intimate violence report an injury of some type, and about 20 percent of them seek medical assistance.
• Thirty-seven percent of women who sought treatment in emergency rooms for violence-related injuries in 1994 were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.
Domestic Violence and Youth
• Approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.
• Eight percent of high school age girls said "yes" when asked if "a boyfriend or date has ever forced sex against your will."
• Forty percent of girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
• During the 1996-1997 school year, there were an estimated 4,000 incidents of rape or other types of sexual assault in public schools across the country.

Domestic Violence and Children

• In a national survey of more than 6,000 American families, 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.
• Slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under age 12.
• Studies suggest that between 3.3 - 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

Rape

• Three in four women (76 percent) who reported they had been raped and/or physically assaulted since age 18 said that a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, or date committed the assault.

The socalled statistics you quote are from an radical feminist political organ.

You really need to get a life!

Amen!!! Countless times he asked the question, and answered it for her!

Amen!

Thanks - I know there are great ladies out there! My point exactly. You are a credit to your gender, being fair and acknowledging facts. Many time there is abuse on the part of the man, but certainly not every time it is accused. We just needed some evidence in this case. Anything at all. And like you say. He never got the opportunity to say anything, nor did his family.

She was mentally incompetent to plan this? She unplugged the phone so it could not be used to call 911. She watched him bleed to death and never bothered to try to stop it, and she had MOTIVE. (The 17 K of hot checks) and she planned a get away. I have no doubt that many women get away with murdering their husband or boyfriend using the abuse excuse without any evidence of abuse ever having occured.

Amen - Amen! You hit the nail on the head.

Just goes to proving the old lawyer's mantra, "any lawyer can get an innocent person off, but only the best can get the guilty off." (Told to me by an old lawyer) You can bet that ever guilty scoundrel that has money in the county will hire this bunch. Good for them, the worms.

Um...fellers...excuse me while you tee off on lawyers...but...the lawyers didn't come back with that ridiculous verdict...you did! Or, people like you did. A jury of Mary's peers got her off, not the lawyers. Any assemblage of people with the collective sense God gave a goose would have said...nice job lawyers...but she's guilty as sin and that's our verdict. So stop ripping into those who are just doing their jobs (it is a lawyer's job under our Constitution to give the accused -- guilty or not -- a defense...at least the last time I checked) and lay the blame squarely where it belongs...at the feet of Mary Winkler and that naive and gullible jury.

Missed the point Tim, the lawyers volunteered to do this. They were not just doing their job. They also went well beyond providing a defense. Yes the jury happened to be gullible for sure. Why did those two lawyers help give those kids back to an obviously deranged and dangerous murderer - for free none-the-less. Because like a previous post stated - MONEY. The lawyers defending and helping her in this case were worms. Not all lawyers, these lawyers.

GB...me thinks not. So what that the lawyers volunteered to do it. Dang...lawyers charge a fee and people bitch. Lawyers work for free...and people bitch. Lawyers work within the system you the people have created. Without lawyers, there would be no line between the state and the innocent (believe it or not, some people who are charged with serious crimes are actually innocent). So, while I share your view that the outcome in this case is an abomination, that doesn't make the lawyers "worms". They're just lawyers. The worm in this case was the one with the shotgun.

I agree with your thoughts on the fight or flight situation. If I were in the same situation, I would do anything to protect myself. But in this situation, let's remember that he was alseep. He was not attacking her with adrenaline flowing. He was in bed asleep, the house was quiet. She went to a hall closet, pulled out a shotgun, walked into her room, pointed the rifle at him and accidentally pulled the trigger? It does not add up.

Actually, Bloody Mary Winkler was the one with adrenaline flowing. She committed murder and got off scot free.

A wise person once said, "the weakness of men, is their facade of strength, the strength of women is their facade of weakness". The female supremacists (feminists), are constantly using that to claim special privileges for women, on the grounds that it balances against "the patriarchy", when what is left of "the patriarchy" in fact also gives women special privileges, and holds men accountable (with an iron fist)

Women hold the power of life and death over many, and some of them claim that they are always the victims and are responsible for nothing, ever. There are many of them like that (just read the comments), and they are straightforwardly and openly saying that this one woman's free pass for the execution her allegedly abusive husband is a right that they should all have.