Benita Alexander-Noel, Dateline NBC Producer
I've never forgotten her name: Morgan Lee Pena, a gorgeous little 2-year-old girl from Pennsylvania who loved to sing. I never met Morgan, only her grieving parents. Morgan was killed when a driver talking on his cell phone ran a stop sign and slammed into her mom's car.
Dateline's story about Morgan, and the dangers of distracted driving, aired 9 years ago. That was before texting was ubiquitous, and before a single state had passed a ban on the use of cell phones behind the wheel. It was also before I became a mom myself. But I was so distressed by the anguish Morgan's parents were dealing with, and so moved by her mom's determined efforts to educate anyone who would listen about the dangers of distracted driving, that I promised myself I would never again use my cell phone while driving.
It's a promise I've broken too many times, and each time, I've thought about Morgan. Once, my daughter heard me say "Sorry Morgan" out loud as I scrambled to find the earpiece I should have been using all along. "Who's Morgan Mommy?" she asked from the backseat. I paused for a moment. "Morgan was a very special little girl, just like you, who was hurt in a car accident because someone was talking on a cell phone instead of concentrating on driving. And that's why Mommy shouldn't use her phone either."
These past few weeks as we put together our segment on distracted driving for Kate Snow's Dateline hour "The Perils of Parenting," I've thought about Morgan a lot. On the legislative front, a great deal has changed since her tragic death, with 30 states now banning texting behind the wheel, and 28 restricting the use of cell phones by novice drivers. But in many ways, the landscape has become far more complicated. Everyone seems to have a cell phone now, if not two, and with blackberries and texting added to the picture, we've become more addicted to our devices than most of us really want to admit. I'm fairly certain you could stand on virtually any busy intersection with a camera these days, and in no time, capture video of one driver after another dangerously distracted by a phone or blackberry.
So, really, how shocked can we be to learn that although most teens say they are well aware of the potential dangers of texting behind the wheel, 1 in 3 of them fess up to doing it anyway?
On the one hand, parents are sternly lecturing their teens about not using phones behind the wheel, yet on the other many of them do it themselves. What this seems to teach kids, beginning at a very young age, is that no matter what mom and dad might say, this is just what everyone does. One teen we interviewed about texting behind the wheel told us "We know we're not supposed to do it. But sometimes, I don't know. We just do it anyways. I don't really know why. It's just that's how it was while we were growing up. Just people would talk on their phones while they were driving."
Even if we don't mean to, are we teaching our children that our devices are like some kind of appendage, permanently attached to our hands, okay to use anywhere and everywhere?
As you'll see in our story, we learned from kids as young as 4-years-old that they truly resent our constant use of phones. It turns out that not only are we sending them mixed messages about the safety of phone use, but we're also making them feel rejected and shoved aside, as if they're not really as important as our beloved devices.
My daughter is only 7, but even before this story made me think really hard about it, I'd already wondered what kind of example I'm setting. She's seen me pick up my phone at a stoplight to quickly try and answer a text, she's been the kid yanking on my arm impatiently because I was too glued to the blackberry to give her the attention she needed.
I think this story has taught me a lesson, or at least I hope it has. As we were nearing the end of Kate Snow's interview with our group of adorable 4 to 7-year-olds, I picked up my blackberry, which had been on silent during the interview but was blinking madly. Suddenly I heard a lot of laughter as several people called my name, and someone said "Let's turn the camera on the producer." I looked up to see Kate, the camera crews, and all of the kids, looking at me as if they'd just caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. Kate had been trying to ask me a question and I was so immersed in my blackberry, I didn't even hear what she said. I apologized sheepishly and begged our cameraman to please not make me part of our story.
Sometimes things just have to wait, at least until you can pull over, at least until you can take a moment with your child instead of using that dismissive "just a second honey, I'm on the phone" wave of the hand. I feel I owe that much to Morgan, and I definitely owe it to my own daughter. If you're a parent, I'm guessing the "The Perils of Parenting" will make you pause to think about your own phone habits too.
Benita Alexander-Noel
Producer, Dateline NBC
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Watch exclusive videos from 'The Perils of Parenthood', airing tonight at 10pm/9c


My family, living in Silicon Valley, decided to give up our beloved technology for a year. It had a dramatic impact on all of us, especially my then 6-year-old daughter. You can read about our story at www.AYearUnplugged.com. Turn your cell phones off and pay attend to your driving and to your kids...while you're at it, turn of your laptop, TV, Facebook, and iPod too. Your family deserves it.
I couldn't agree with you more. If I just sit in the car on the side of the road and watch drivers go by, I cannot tell you how many of them are either talking or texting on the phone. It has become a way of life - unfortunately. And, as you have said parents need to be role models and this is not happening. It is sickening. The Perils of Parenting was a powerful special. Something similar to this however with more focus on texting/driving would be awesome.
Technology will be the demise of real human interaction. While extremely helpful in terms of moving humankind forward i.e medical technology, it also sets us back in many ways. I was saying to my wife the other day that it is sad that we barely know any of our neighbors. I summized that it is because we are all to busy too get to know each other. Technology has not made things easier, it has made us busier and less aware of our immediate surroundings. We don't live in the moment any longer. We live in a virtual place somewhere else and through someone else's experience. We will be talking to machines for the rest of our lives.
I don't quite understand the people of today with all this technology. I grew up in a time where none of this existed. When I had a little one, that is where my attention went. It is so easy. It is odd to me that parents of this generation can see those little faces when they walk in the door and not know how much they need you, your time, your attention. They learn how to have fun from you, they learn they are loved by the happiness on your face when you see them. They learn how to be together by you being with them.
How can you replace the incredible little ones in your lives with machines to stay in touch with "friends" who will come and go? How can you replace the incredible little ones with phone calls and business all the time you are home? I am amazaed. How can you text while you drive? There is nothing more dangerous. You are putting your children at risk for death. What excuse do you all have for doing that?
I think it is awful and I think you all need to sit down and talk to your parents or someone older. Let them tell you what life really should be and how to truly take care of your children.
What I find truly amazing is the fact that the majority of these calls are non essential, non business type chit chats. I've lost count of how many times I've stood in a check out line behind someone talking on a cell phone and from their end of the conversation I could tell it was just B.S. that could have waited until they got home. But here we were waiting for this inconsiderate jerk to pay some attention to the checkout clerk and finish their transaction so the rest of us could get on with our lives too.
I worked retail for a short while recently and one evening while I was restocking the shelves I heard the sound of a shopping cart bumping into the end of an aisle close by and then a young boy starting to cry. Not a wail but still an injured cry. I headed towards the sound and found a boy of about 7 or 8 holding his nose and obviously in some pain. I concluded that the mom was talking on her cell phone while pulling the cart behind her and had bumped into the end cap of the aisle. The boy, who was following the cart too closely, had struck his nose on the handle when the cart abruptly stopped. The unbelievable part was that mommy never got off her stupid cell phone, not even when I showed up and attended to HER injured child! I didn't say anything, although I regret it, but you can guess what kind of glare I gave her.